Imported Content

T-SQL Tuesday – “Did he just say that?” edition

As in, I didn’t participate in the most recent T-SQL Tuesday about my favorite feature in SQL 2008 R2. Want to know my favorite 2008R2 features? PostgreSQL 9.0 and MongoDB. PostgreSQL and MongoDB are rapidly advancing features that solve my daily problems. I’m an OLTP guy. Honestly, I don’t care about the latest reporting ding dongs and doo dads. I already know PowerShell. I manage 6 production servers and we’re unlikely to grow, so these MDM and Utility Control Points don’t make me giddy with excitement.

This is How We Handle Problems

I had a production issue tonight. Still am, actually. I’ve admitted to it and here’s the email I’m sending to my management. At 9:00PM I took a backup of database_a and database_b prior to running the database migration scripts. Once the backups were finished, I began the migration process at approximately 9:20. I stopped the migration process at 10:15 after multiple failures and restarts. There are too many unknown cross-dependencies to go on with the roll forward.

How I Analyzed the PASS 2010 Summit Submissions

Want to know how I analyzed the Summit session data? I exported the data from the abstract selection system into a tab delimited file. Since I use a Mac at home, I used the tools available to me: PostgreSQL. I loaded the data using the PostgreSQL COPY command to bulk load the report output and then did some data mojo using PostgreSQL. Most of it was exactly the same as it would be for SQL Server with a few differences.

What the heck are you people talking about?

The call for speakers is closed and the selection committees are about to begin reviewing the abstracts. Before they get started, here are a few little pieces of trivia about the sessions. Keep in mind that I have done minimal cleansing on this data so it’s going to be a bit messy and unreliable for anything apart from entertainment purposes. Raw Numbers There were 574 sessions submitted this year by 209 speakers working for a total of 163 separate companies.

Push Ups and String Concatenation

SQL sucks at string manipulation. It’s not just SQL Server, it’s the SQL language in general. I’ve mentioned this before on Stack Overflow in answer to the question “What are five things you hate about your favorite language?”It’s almost easier to return the raw rows to application code than it is to work with them inside of a database. There’s one place where SQL Server has made it easier to work with string data – string building.

How Much Space Am I Taking Up?

Are you running out of space? Filling up drives? Don’t know where to go? Is your SAN administrator complaining about your continued demands for more spindles? Do you need to juggle databases around on different servers but don’t know how you’re going to figure out the size of your index, table, and materialized view filegroups as well as the filegroups you’ve created for every schema just to piss off the DBA?

Better When You're Not Alone

In the last month, I’ve gone to three different concerts – once by myself and twice with a friend. They’ve all been great shows, but for different reasons. The show I went to alone was one of my favorite bands. It was a great show, I had a great time and ran into a few old acquaintances, but it was still awkward being there alone: I didn’t know anyone and it’s hard to make new friends at a loud concert.

The Key is…

It was a typical Saturday afternoon in Blacklick. The day had gone well – I had entertained a number of guests with some of my uproarious tales, a short self-penned one act opera, and a round of polo using burros instead of horses. [caption id=“attachment_1530” align=“alignnone” width=“425”] The classiest entertainment for the classiest people[/caption] After having one of my many servants clean the burro “leavings” from the polo field, we began setting up for the afternoon games – we mainly play lawn darts.

iPhones, Robots, and Cookies

I traded my iPhone for a batch of cookies. That’s right: one white iPhone 3GS was traded for a batch of cookies. This has been a long time coming. My Growing Disappointment I’ve had an iPhone since Apple first unleashed them on unsuspecting consumers. I was happy with the first generation iPhone. I was even happier with my iPhone 3GS. It was fast, I could download applications, and everything integrated smoothly with the software on my MacBook.

Submitting a Winning Abstract at PASS

For those who couldn’t make today’s presentation, or those who could but want to hear Tim Ford and Buck Woody trashing Wisconsin, I’m pleased to share with you both the slides and the recording of today’s presentation. Or rather, two recordings. The Powerpoint The Presentation Submitting a session to the PASS Summit really isn’t terrifying. What’s terrifying is being accepted and being faced with the prospect of speaking… I kid, I kid.