• Every speaker has 5 minutes
• Slides are optional
• No demos
• When the 5 minutes are up, the speaker is done.

So, in order to pull this off, we need three volunteers from the audience. All you have to do is work an egg timer. Whenever a speaker starts talking, you start the egg timer. When they’re done, you cut them off, shoo them off the stage, and then introduce the next speaker. You can think of the job as being like an M.C. because that’s what it is (parachute pants will not be provided by PASS). One bonus is that you’ll get to hobnob with the speakers and/or embarrass when you introduce them. It’s all good fun until someone falls off the stage!

If you’d like to volunteer to moderate one of these sessions, let me know. Send an email to jeremiah.peschka@sqlpass.org. There are only three sessions, supplies are limited. Act now!

Update: I want to thank everyone who got back in touch with me about this, and there were a lot of you. We have our moderators selected – Matt Velic, Lance Harra, and Noel McKinney will be emceeing our Lightning Talks

I’m going to stay involved in the community. That’s a big one right there. I’m still going to be on the Board of Directors for PASS. I’m still going to run my local user group (until we have elections and I’m voted off the island). I’m still going to speak at SQL Saturdays and the like. I’m still going to blog about all the crazy messed up things that I do with data. (Have I mentioned that I really like data?)

I’m going to keep solving problems. One of the things that I enjoyed the most about the last two years at Cass Information Systems is that I wasn’t just a DBA. I worked with a great team of developers to solve a variety of problems. Some days I sat in on meetings with them to just give advice based on prior experience. Some days I would be tuning T-SQL. Some days I would be working to help design the optimal solution to a problem using a combination of C# and T-SQL. Solving problems is something that I love. I never want to stop doing it. In fact, I made things change because of the problems that I would be able to solve; these are problems that have been running through my head for a long time.

I love code. I really mean it – I love writing code. There’s nothing like opening up an editor and whipping up some code to solve a problem. I wanted to download a bunch of PDFs, I figured out how. This new position means that I’ll have the opportunity to combine the things that I love – community, problem solving, code, and data – to do some really cool things.

I should stop bolding the first sentence of every paragraph, shouldn’t I?

Let’s make this a bit freaky for you: I’m not going to be working exclusively with SQL Server. In fact, I’m not even going to be working exclusively with RDBMSes.

Did you guess it yet? That’s right: I’m going to be working with cloud databases and NoSQL.

Since you’re reading this right now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been writing a lot about MongoDB, other NoSQL databases, as well as PostgreSQL lately. I’m exploring the world around me and writing about what I’m finding out. This is an amazing time to be looking at different ways to store data. I’m incredibly excited by all of this new technology. People notice that.

You too can have fabulous prizes. A lot of people have said it before. Hell, I’m going to be saying it this Saturday in Nashville: show your passion. People notice it. Even if that passion leads you away from the fold, follow it. When you write and speak with passion, people will take notice. When you share what you’ve learned with passion, people will take notice.

I didn’t respond to an ad on craigslist. I’d like to think that this opportunity came about because of the time I spend with you, the community, the time I spend blogging, and the time I spend presenting. These are all things that I love doing and now I’m going to be paid to do them. I’m not sure it gets any better than this….

The Live Meeting starts at 1PM EST and will last for around an hour. You can click on this glorious link to attend.

Title: Taking Control of Your Career

Abstract: Raises, promotions, and job offers don’t happen by accident; you need a plan. Through careful planning you can create and reach impressive goals. But what’s the point of reaching your goals if nobody notices? “If you build it, they will come” doesn’t apply when you’re building your career.

In this session I will show you:

• How to set achievable goals
• The importance of planning your career
• Methods for recording and communicating your accomplishments

After we heard from a few Microsoft employees who work outside of the normal speaking groups, we decided to do something about it. We’re asking you, and anyone else you know who falls into this category, to submit your sessions during the community call for speakers. This is our way of making sure that you don’t slip through the gap. Please pass this on to any of your colleagues who may find themselves in the same situation.

One last thing: The Call for Speakers ends Saturday, so you will have to hurry.

http://sqlpass.eventpoint.com/cft/

Why would we do this? Microsoft have their own call for speakers, right? They do, but it’s a Microsoft internal process – we can only make suggestions about the final speaker selections.

Here’s the deal – there are some speakers out there that we feel are an important part of the community, speakers who are outside of the normal Microsoft speaker track. They aren’t on the product development team, they aren’t architects, they aren’t general managers at Microsoft. These are the DBAs who keep Microsoft’s databases running, CSS/PSS, and other DBAs out there in the trenches. Most importantly, they’re also members of our community.

You probably know some of them – they’ve spoken at the PASS Summit, at SQL Saturdays, and at user groups. They’re highly rated speakers and they’re valuable members of the community.

If you know someone who falls into this group of people, pass this message along. We are working to make sure that this year’s PASS Summit is the best one that we’ve had and we know these people will make it even better.

Thank you.

The show I went to alone was one of my favorite bands. It was a great show, I had a great time and ran into a few old acquaintances, but it was still awkward being there alone: I didn’t know anyone and it’s hard to make new friends at a loud concert.

The next two shows, I went with friends. The experience was completely different. When you’re hanging out at a show with a friend, there’s a lot of shared fun that goes on. Everything is more entertaining. When a song is really good, you both notice it, you comment on it. Afterwards you have someone to talk to about the experience. What you witnessed gets better because there’s someone else to share the experience. For the record, I really didn’t like the most recent concert I went to. It was an average performance, but I had a good time. Why? I was there with a friend.

Going to user groups and conferences is the same way. It’s better if you already know someone, but what if you don’t?

I’m a naturally shy person and an introvert. I prefer one-on-one interaction to large groups of people. At the same time, when I go to a SQL Saturday, speak at a user group, or attend a conference I go out of my way to meet new people.

Why am I going out of my way to meet new people? Because odds are that I don’t know anyone at an event and if I don’t know someone, chances are that there are other people present who don’t know anyone. If you have a good time, you’re more likely to do something again, right? And, if you know somebody it’s easier to have fun, right?

I’m making new friends, having more fun, and we’re all more likely to do this again.

The next time you’re at a user group meeting, SQL Saturday, or a conference, take the time to make a friend. I guarantee that you’ll have fun.

The Powerpoint

The Presentation

Submitting a session to the PASS Summit really isn’t terrifying. What’s terrifying is being accepted and being faced with the prospect of speaking… I kid, I kid. There’s nothing terrifying about it. You put together an abstract, revise it a few times, and then submit it. When you submit an abstract you’ll want to put together a list of objectives – problems that you’re going to solve for the attendees.

Well, that’s about all there is to that. If you have questions, post them in the comments. I can’t tell you what PASS is looking for because, well, I don’t know. It’s based on a number of different things and depends, in part, on your abstract itself. So, write some abstracts, give them a once over, and submit them to PASS.

Want some more ideas about writing abstracts? Look no further than Brent Ozar’s blog post How to Get Readers to Pay Attention.

Want to know more about public speaking? I would suggest Confessions of a Public Speaker.

Thursday April 8th – Columbus, OH

Fundamentals of SQL Server Internals

The Abstract: Want to know what makes SQL Server tick?
Ever wonder what SQL Server is doing when you run a query?
Ever wonder which parts of SQL Server are responsible for specific functionality?

Jeremiah Peschka can’t promise answers to every question, but he can set you on the path to knowledge about the inner workings of SQL Server.

Location: Battelle for Kids – 1160 Dublin Rd Suite 500, Columbus, OH 43215

Time: 6:30 PM, but you can show up at 6:00 PM for refreshments and socializing.

The Details: This is a fun little romp around SQL Server’s internals. This isn’t intended to be an exhaustive introduction. It’s supposed to be a fun look at how SQL Server works internally and give you more information to get around.

Saturday April 10 – Richmond, VA

I’m speaking at SQL Saturday 30 in Richmond, Virginia!

Fundamentals of SQL Server Internals

This one starts at 8:30 in the morning, so bring your coffee!

A Dynamic World Demands Dynamic SQL

The Abstract: Dynamic SQL is a misunderstood and much maligned part of a DBA’s tool kit – it can be used to solve difficult business problems, respond to diverse data needs, and alleviate performance problems. Many DBAs reject dynamic SQL outright as a potential source of SQL injections, being poorly performing, or just for being a hacky solution in general. Not so! Jeremiah Peschka has been making extensive use of dynamic SQL throughout his career to solve a variety of problems. He’ll set about dispelling these misconceptions and demonstrate how dynamic SQL can become a part of every DBA’s tool kit.

The Skinny: I sometimes catch flak for this, but I use a ton of dynamic SQL on a daily basis. It’s the only way I could possibly build some of our most complex reports. Frankly, dynamic SQL can perform just as well as anything else that you’re doing so why not take advantage of the tools at your disposal? Come along and learn more.

Saturday April 17 – Chicago, IL

Double whammy! You can travel to Chi-town and see me present both of my talks again but in reverse order!

A Dynamic World Demands Dynamic SQL

Bring your dancin’ shoes we’re getting that party started at 9:00 AM right after the welcome and keynote.

Fundamentals of SQL Server Internals

Less dancing, more learning this one goes on at 3:00PM. Hopefully your brain won’t be full by this point in time. If it is, I suggest that you empty it.

Theme word? I don’t have one, “f*%#ing rad” is two words, thank you very much.

Communication

Become a Better Writer

A long time ago, I went to college for four years, took out a bunch of loans, and got a degree in English, Non-Fiction Writing. I did exceptionally well in my English classes and did even better in the writing classes. I love writing and, frankly, the quality of my writing has not been up to par recently. I want to change my focus as a writer this year. I want to switch from writing short, highly technical, blog posts and change to creating longer article and essay length pieces. There’s nothing wrong with shorter, technical, posts but that is not where my interests lie. I want to focus on improving my writing so I can effectively teach more advanced concepts through writing as well as through public speaking. I was a good writer before and I’ll be a good writer again.

Become a Better Presenter

I have no doubts about my abilities as a presenter – I have a lot of room for improvement. Over the course of the year I’m going to team up with a number of people to improve my presentations. I want to get better at better content and delivery as well as meticulously practicing my presentations until I can deliver them in my sleep. I know that a lot of improvement comes from repetition and I would like to speak at least six times this year. With my current upcoming speaking schedule, that shouldn’t be difficult at all, but we’ll see.

Self-Employment

I don’t intend to be self-employed by the end of 2010, but I plan on being well on my way. How am I going to get there?

Writing

I’m writing stronger blog content. That’s not going to be enough. I want to get my name in a more places – magazines, guest blog posts, paid content, white papers, and a book. I’ve been shopping an idea around to various publishers and I’m hoping to have a book written and finished by the end of 2010. None of these things pay big bucks, but they all add to the bottom line.

Consulting

I haven’t done much consulting in the past, of course it was difficult when my day job was being a consultant – there’s an expectation that you will bring the business back to the company. Things have changed, I’m a full time employee now. My employer and I have had the talk – I’m allowed to do consulting work as long as I don’t help out our competitors.

This year I will take on several clients that require a small amount of time (10 – 20 hours each) every month. This isn’t to replace my existing job, this is to supplement it and provide additional income. Before I go completely solo, I want to have a substantial savings buffer built up and doing work on the side makes this a lot easier. I don’t plan on going at it alone – I’ve discussed this several co-conspirators and we have plans to get started this year.

Personal Ventures

I have an idea for a business that will make me tens, maybe even hundreds, of dollars. I plan on fully pursuing this over the course of 2010. Honestly, I have incredibly high hopes for this business and we have already thought of multiple ways to monetize our business. That’s not to say that it’s sure to happen, I have a lot of hard work ahead me, but I’m looking forward to it.

PASS

As many of you know, I was elected to the PASS Board of Directors and subsequently put in charge of the Summit program portfolio. This is the heart and soul of what I want to do over the next 12 months. I am going to make sure that the 2010 Summit program committee has my full support and that we’re can make the summit the best event possible.

Inky Mess

This is a personal one: I want to finish both full arm tattoo sleeves this year and, hopefully, start on my legs.

Once again, I think I’m supposed to pick victims. I’m going to pick Matt Nowack, Rick Kierner, Jeff Blankenburg, and Jorge Segarra

I also want a chainsaw on my hand like Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness. That would be f*%#ing rad.